Our Friend

Our Friend
David Loofbourrow

Our Friend

See this movie!

I took an opportunity to get away for a few days. Both sets of doctors have encouraged me to reduce my stress, which has been peaking around 6.2 to 7.0 (Richter) at times. I REALLY needed some BFF time -- to escape into some order and sanity, take a break from the chaos of the house packing and prepping, and get centered again.

My weekend in the Bay Area included these awesome activities:

  1. Some really good conversations, relaxation and sharing with the guy who gets me most.

  2. Visits to almost a dozen Senior Mobile Home parks, I few of which I could see myself comfortable living in. One of the big "unknowns" right now is where I'm going to go (exactly) and how am I going to pay for it. I now, at least, have a visual and sense of the Mobile Home parks to work on pursuing details.

  3. Seeing a powerful movie -- "Our Friend" -- which I highly recommend you catch.

It was made in 2019 and didn't get the showing or acclaim it deserved in 2020. You can find it on disk, IMBd (linked below) or on PPV Amazon. It follows a true story -- documentary style -- of how a young family faces the mother's terminal cancer diagnosis with the help of their best friend.

Don’t be expecting a sugar-coated "Love Story" film. The actors realistically portray the confusion, grief and grit as they face the hard realities of "When to tell the truth to children, friends and family?", "It's going to be harder - a lot harder…", "I can't do this alone…" and "What hurts most is not the pain."

The film is not really about the cancer, though. The physical part is there, but film mostly focuses on the denial, challenges, and the grief of letting go during the dying process. It is about what you do when you don't know what to do. As the director pivots the action around the wife's cancer diagnosis date, we see how the family relationships' "before" and "after" change. Particularly, the story follows the couple's mutual best friend, who becomes the care-givers' caregiver and brings a love that holds them all together.

In the "making of" trailer, the actress who plays the wife mentions that, "Most people who hear 'blood is thicker than water' have it backwards." She explains that this movie demonstrates how its the love of a best-friend (who is chosen and cultivated over time, bonded, as in 'blood-brothers') proves to be the strongest relationship -- even when marriage or family bonds falter.

I would love to have a conversation with you about this movie. Maybe we could do a Zoom or FB Video Chat Room someday? Please put in the comments your thoughts on the film, or perhaps you would share your experiences along these lines.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9608818/

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